QO’NOS — The bloodwine vintage coming from the Klingon homeworld this year may be remembered as the vintage of a lifetime.
Favorable environmental conditions and an abundance of high-quality blood contributed to the 2392 haul being hailed as the Empire’s finest since the acclaimed vintage of 2309.
As a result, the price of 2392 Qo’noS bloodwine has soared in currency-based economies, as demand far outpaces supply. Sources on the Klingon homeworld say the scarcity is artificial in nature, and that most of the vintage has been placed in reserve on the direct order of the Chancellor.
“The Chancellor will drink himself to death,” said K’mpok, son of Torak, commander of the bird-of-prey IKS Ratanog, “and the only blood we will taste will come from our parched, cracked lips.”
At press time, the Chancellor had not responded to our request for comment. Some analysts have linked the bloodwine situation to the ongoing buildup of military forces within the Empire, as Klingon attack ships often carry large stockpiles of the beverage to celebrate victories.
The vintage has been so universally lauded that sales of non-Qo’noS bloodwine have plummeted almost to zero, and many alien merchants have all but given up on selling off their inferior stocks.
“I’ve got a cargo hold full of a product nobody wants anymore,” said Hetman Diwa of the Xepolite freighter Skrul.
Patrol ships have been on alert to catch traders illegally dumping bloodwine in Federation space, a violation of environmental regulations.
A solution may be in sight, however. As of last week, a Ferengi consortium has been established to purchase off-world bloodwine at a discount, in the hope its value will re-appreciate as supplies of Qo’noS bloodwine dwindle.
The spike in bloodwine sales has had a quadrant-wide ripple effect on the demand of other Klingon delicacies. Last month saw a 51% increase in the export of Bithool gagh, both with and without feet.
A’Eleq, daughter of Thopok, a spokeswoman for the High Council, was not surprised: “Nothing goes better with bloodwine than gagh!”
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