Scientists’ Good Intentions Spawn Unforeseen Megadisaster

Posted on 240201.17 by Jenna Gise in Special Reports

Location: Starbase 39 Research Facility near Epsilon Prime.

Retrospective report by an embedded correspondent.

In hindsight, the announcement was always bound to cause astonishment—rippling through every quadrant of the known galaxy.

No lifeform saw it coming.

No one, that is, except the team of scientists who had worked tirelessly on their secret project, pouring years into its development before unveiling their triumph.

When news of their breakthrough was finally released, it was greeted with joy. Even jubilation. Thanks to their efforts, sentient lives would be transformed. Daily existence enriched. Galactic citizens would once again experience the delight of unconditional companionship in soft, furry, and contented form—just as it had been years ago.

But not everyone was pleased.

Across certain star systems, especially within a certain Empire, the announcement was met with horror. To them, the very idea was more repulsive than stale gagh. Their nemesis had returned from the dead.

Against the odds—and against reason—Tribbles were back.

Using cutting-edge genetic sequencing techniques, the scientists had brought the purring, chirping, and notoriously prolific creatures back from extinction. Tribbles were now genetically recomposited to be as adorable (and maddening) as their predecessors. They were available for purchase—but only at extortionate prices and with a lengthy waiting list.

At first, it seemed an innocuous miracle. But no one foresaw the chaos to come.

A Galaxy in Turmoil

Despite their infamous breeding habits, even Tribbles couldn’t keep up with the galaxy-wide demand. Waiting lists grew massive and interminable.

The resulting discontent was inevitable.

Across major cities, on multiple planets, demonstrations began to escalate. Tribble owners were attacked; their cherished pets were stolen. Criminals took advantage of the frenzy, replicating fake Tribbles and selling them to naïve buyers who quickly became disillusioned—and angry.

Protests turned to riots. Riots spiraled into planetary unrest. Entire governments fell as law and order collapsed. Interplanetary alliances fractured. Space wars erupted.

Tribbles became the galaxy’s most coveted currency, overtaking gold-pressed latinum, Orion star crystals, and even credits. A thriving black market emerged, fueling further chaos. Economies crumbled under the weight of runaway “Tribble inflation.”

Starfleet and local authorities scrambled to contain the disintegration of society but found their efforts inadequate. A quadrant-wide state of anarchy loomed.

A Drastic Solution

In desperation, the Federation declared Tribbles illegal throughout all territories. They were classified as hazardous contraband, with severe penalties for non-compliance. Life imprisonment on a penal colony awaited anyone caught harboring an illicit Tribble.

Stringent measures slowly brought the chaos under control. Over time, the situation stabilized. Advanced society clawed its way back to normality, but the scars remained.

Klingon Vindication

On Qo’noS and its colonies, celebrations erupted when the eradication of Tribbles was confirmed. Drinking songs and operas were composed, chronicling how only the Klingons had truly understood the menace these creatures posed. They were vindicated. Honor was restored.

Once again, Tribbles were gone from creation—this time, it seemed, for good.

Well, at least not in the Mirror Universe…