“Your Mouth is Not Prepared!” claims the Klingon hot sauce igniting tastebuds

FIRST CITY, QO’NOS — A culinary challenge like no other is setting tongues on fire—literally. Fiery advertising blazes across the quadrant daring brave souls to sample “The Empire’s Hottest Sauce”.

The latest entry in the ever-growing interstellar hot sauce scene comes straight from the Klingon homeworld, where warriors have long believed that a meal without pain is no meal at all. The sauce, cryptically branded with characters from tlhIngan Hol, appears to be part of a bold promotional campaign encouraging both Klingons and adventurous outsiders to prove their mettle.

“The challenge is a simple one,” explained K’reth son of Mavok, one of the sauce’s creators and a chef turned entrepreneur. “You survive a spoonful, or you don’t. Either way, you will remember it!”

Reports from early taste-testers describe the sauce as “explosive”, “volcanic” and in one case, “a religious experience.” While the exact ingredients are a closely guarded House secret, sources close to the manufacturer hint at a rare fusion of fire peppers from Gre’thor’s Valley and a hint of bloodwine reduction. Starfleet Medical has already issued a mild advisory after an ensign from the USS Mistral reportedly attempted to drink it straight and ended up in sickbay for internal recalibration.

Despite warnings, the sauce has attracted thrill-seekers from across the Federation and beyond. A viral subspace channel, Gastronomic Gauntlets, recently featured a challenge segment where a Vulcan, a Trill, and a Klingon each tried a dab. Only the Vulcan finished the segment upright.

The sauce is expected to reach select Federation outposts within the month, accompanied by medical disclaimers and a traditional Klingon drinking horn “for courage” if pre-ordered.

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About Chas Vasser

Chas Vasser is a human lifestyle journalist specializing in Arts and Culture with a starting career in holo-vidlogging. A graduate in dramatic studies from Amazon University in Brazil, she travels around the Federation with her dog Havoc.

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