FERENGINAR – Executives of the Slug-o-Cola company announced this morning a surprise merger agreement with upstart competitor Lappa IV Beverages.
The long-standing conglomerate Slug-o-Cola has fought a bitter war over the production of soft drinks in recent decades with both Eelwasser as a primary competitor and the newly formed Lappa IV Beverages in the last few years. While some prefer the slimy texture and sweet flavour of the Slug-o-Cola signature brand, the soured grittiness of the Lappa IV Lap-It-Up, made from the Zan Periculi flower native to the planet, has appealed to a select group of drinkers and has taken the galactic market by storm.
The sharp rivalry escalated recently over the Lappa IV Beverages challenge “Lap Around Lappa IV,” in which contestants were encouraged to perform loops of the planet in private vessels.
“Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity!” said the challenge’s winner Ubonk, son of Slug-o-Cola’s chairman Commissioner Nilva. “Right, father?”
The challenge courted controversy on social media, with calls for a reassessment of the race following Ubonk’s surprise victory. The Ferengi Commerce Authority was prompted to investigate the alleged breach of the terms and conditions stipulated by Lappa IV and determined the rules were not breached; however, Commissioner Nilva has declined to comment further.
The merger of both companies is a combining of efforts and recipes to secure the Slug-o-Cola brand and Lappa IV Beverages names into household history books for centuries to come. Market experts were astounded that a merger had been negotiated, yet there were many hopes for a bright future. Profit seemed to be at the forefront of everyone’s minds as the market leaders met today for a final discussion on the particulars of the asset consolidation.
“Sales have already increased; our stock prices have soared,” said Leralis, stock leader at Slug-o-Cola, while sipping down a hearty Lappa IV Lap-It-Up soft drink. “You know that old Ferengi rule 45: Expand or die!”
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