Pakled Political Party announces candidacy for Federation Presidentship

Posted on 239807.16 by J'mai Osen in Current Affairs

PARIS, EARTH – The Federation political scene was shaken today by the unexpected entrance of the Pakled Political Party into the hotly contested Presidential race. Making their announcement via subspace on a frequency usually reserved for agricultural purposes, the PPP stated they are unhappy with the current direction of Federation politics and wish to bring an outsider point of view.

“We are smart!” said lead Pakled representative J’ak T’ak R’ak S’ak, “We will make the Federation go again!”

When pressed for details, the destination and means were unclear.

After a heated exchange among themselves, during which the broadcast was not paused, The Pakled Political Party made clear it intends to campaign on a platform of hawkish military action.

“We are STRONG!” said presumptive nominee S’ak, who then attempted to demonstrate that strength literally by firing his ship’s weapons. Unfortunately, his ship was targeting the same subspace relay they were using for their announcement, so any further discussion was summarily concluded.

Federation political pundits appeared sceptical of their chances.

“While it’s always encouraging to see new races toss their hats into the political arena, there isn’t even a Presidential race this year,” said Gaylen Jai, a senior political correspondent, “so it’s not entirely clear what their aim is.”

Others were not so quick to dismiss the Pakled delegation.

“It’s nice to see an outsider candidate for once,” said one anonymous commenter. “The current President has been involved in politics for too long to really know what it’s like for us ordinary citizens. We’re living in a post-scarcity utopia that provides for our every means, but do we really want to share that with the entire galaxy? I want the President to focus on US first.”

The PPP did not respond to repeated requests for comment on this story and, instead, directed us to a subspace information stream riddled with spelling and grammatical errors.

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About J'mai Osen

J'mai Osen is a Trill writer whose travels have taken him around most of the Federation. He has developed a reputation for finding small, person-orientated angles within larger sociopolitical events. He is an accomplished Tongo player, and his hobbies include a passion for cooking and an affinity for Romulan ale.